Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
