Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
