I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
