Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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