"it" just moved
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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