So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize