I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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