in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
