her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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