Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Randomize
