maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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