did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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