my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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