I just saw a hot homeless man
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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