Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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