Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Someone came in the potted fern
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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