New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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