So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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