Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I love black thongs
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
