we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
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This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
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I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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