he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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