Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
