GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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