it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
