he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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