YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
