Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
