Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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