Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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