so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
