I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
How's work?
Spinning.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
