we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
