mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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