My sheets look like a crime scene.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
