I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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