i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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