When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
