Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Randomize
