Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
