Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Mom said you looked used
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
