I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
