If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
