great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
