none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize