just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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