Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
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I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?