can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
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