she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!