Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
