Texts From Last Night

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  (912): View more from Georgia

  I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.

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  (912): I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight. http://tfl.nu/g7kq
  Replies (31) Good night (7349) Bad night (694)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"

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  (508): You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper" http://tfl.nu/17it
  Replies (22) Good night (1340) Bad night (3317)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.

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  (330): Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment. http://tfl.nu/dli5
  Replies (11) Good night (1292) Bad night (2164)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.

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  (602): Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college. http://tfl.nu/e8jb
  Replies (4) Good night (2313) Bad night (683)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.

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  (847): I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet. http://tfl.nu/wpea
  Replies (2) Good night (2046) Bad night (1530)
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  (550): View more from

  I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas

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  (550): I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas http://tfl.nu/h91s
  Replies (1) Good night (1350) Bad night (557)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.

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  (617): Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are. http://tfl.nu/448e
  Replies (11) Good night (1651) Bad night (666)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself

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  (843): I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself http://tfl.nu/cqdr
  Replies (6) Good night (1802) Bad night (682)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all

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  (651): So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all http://tfl.nu/5r9b
  Replies (2) Good night (663) Bad night (367)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.

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  (724): Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though. http://tfl.nu/whvr
  Replies (2) Good night (847) Bad night (324)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...

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  (480): Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch... http://tfl.nu/farg
  Replies (4) Good night (316) Bad night (735)
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  (650): View more from California

  You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever

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  (650): You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever http://tfl.nu/tk1a
  Replies (4) Good night (1855) Bad night (298)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.

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  (+44): What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful. http://tfl.nu/aeug
  Replies (3) Good night (501) Bad night (281)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Did you drink ALL that 151??

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.

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  (843): Did you drink ALL that 151?? (1-843): No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable. http://tfl.nu/g9w3
  Replies (4) Good night (864) Bad night (270)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.

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  (913): Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal. http://tfl.nu/l222
  Replies (2) Good night (534) Bad night (306)

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