So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.