I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?