1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised