Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I smell stomach acid.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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