it hurts more in the daytime
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
