shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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