Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
