4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize