Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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