I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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