why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
