I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
