But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
