IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
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